


This is why we cant have nice things

by Trees_Between_Their_Toes



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Bisexual Katsuki Yuuri, Bisexual Otabek Altin, Bisexual Sara, Britain, Chatting & Messaging, Established Relationship, Gay, Gay Guang Hong, Gay Mila, Gay Phichit, Gay Seung Gil, Gay Yuri, Group chat, Honesty, How Do I Tag, I Don't Even Know, Multi, Out of Character, Pansexual Chris, Pansexual Victor, Relationship Problems, Sexual Humor, Straight JJ, Swearing, Texting, There is no plot, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Ugh, Why Did I Write This?, Work In Progress, at all, bisexual leo, british university, but i dont care, cause lol, everyone is out of character, great usernames
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-17
Updated: 2018-09-22
Packaged: 2019-07-13 18:07:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16023185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trees_Between_Their_Toes/pseuds/Trees_Between_Their_Toes
Summary: It starts off when Phichit goes to Yuuri and Guang Hong for relationship advice. It ends in disaster.It's basically just a bunch of snippets from random group chats.





	1. Hubby Help!

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys,  
> This is a mess. I'm writing this to help with my writers block. I hope you still enjoy, though!  
> ~Treetops

_ Phishit  _ has created chat:  **Hubby Help!**

 

_ Phishit  _ has added  _ Thicc  _ and  _ 2Gay4U _ to  **Hubby Help!**

  
  
  


**(01:13) Phishit** : Guuuuuyyyyyyyyysssssss!!!!!!!!!!1111

 

**(01:13) Phishit** : How’d you get yo man™ to notice yooouuuu????/

 

**(01:45) Thicc** : Phi, not gonna lie but you’re kinda hard to miss …

 

**(01:47) Phishit** : 1. Rude

 

**(01:47)** **Phishit** : 2. Thank you!

 

**(01:47) Phishit** : 3. Fuck you, Mr IAccidentlyDryHumpedMyIdolAndNowHe’sMyHusband

 

**(01:48) Thicc** : You can just call me Yuuri for short

 

**(01:48) Thicc** : And also, oops

 

**(01:50) 2Gay4U** : Honestly, I blew him

 

**(01:51) Phishit** : WHAT?!

 

**(01:51) Thicc** : GUANG HONG!!!

 

**(01:52) Phishit** : MY PURE SON?!

 

**(01:55) 2Gay4U** : Nah jk lol

 

**(01:55) Phishit** : Thank god

 

**(01:55) 2Gay4U** : I did that after

 

**(01:57) Thicc** : Jesus

 

_ Phishit  _ changed  _ 2Gay4U _ ’s name to  _ SecretHoe™ _

 

**(02:03) SecretHoe™** : Shhhhhhhh it’s a secret!

 

**(02:03) Thicc** : Ok but like

 

**(02:04) Thicc** : Moving away from Guang Hong being a slut

 

**(02:04) SecretHoe™** : You cant run from the truth

 

**(02:04) Thicc** : Who’s the lucky guy?

 

**(02:05) SecretHoe™** : Ye do we know him?

 

**(02:06) Phishit** : …

 

**(02:07) SecretHoe™** : Oh my shit we do

 

**(02:07) Thicc** : WHOOOO????

 

**(02:10) Phishit** : Like imma tell you bitches 

 

**(02:13) Thicc** : BUUTT PHI! IM YOUR BEST FRIEND!!!

 

**(02:13) SecretHoe™** : Its ok i think i know who it is anyway

 

**(02:14) Phishit** : What? Nooooo….

 

**(02:14) Thicc** : O ya

 

**(02:14) Thicc** : Me too

 

**(02:15) Phishit** : Yuuri! 

 

**(02:15) Phishit** : You guys can’t tell anyone, do you understand?

 

**(02:15) Phishit** : Not even you Leo or Victor!

 

**(02:18) SecretHoe™** : Yeah ok

 

**(02:20) Thicc** : If that’s what you need, Phi

 

**(02:20) Thicc** : We’re here for you if you need

 

**(02:21) Phishit** : Thanks bub <3

 

**(02:21) Thicc** : <3

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

_ Phishit _ has texted the chat  **Hubby Help!**

 

**(14:32) Phishit** : Ok, which one of you bitches sold me out?

 

**(15:01) Thicc** : I CRACKED UNDER PRESSURE

 

**(15:01) Thicc** : HE WAS THREATENING NO BACK MASSAGES!!

 

**(15:01) Thicc** : IM SO SORRY PHI!!!

 

_ Phishit  _ has changed their name to  _ Betrayed _

 

_ Betrayed  _ has changed  _ Thicc _ ’s name to  _ IThoughtYouWereBae,TurnsOutYou’reJustFam _

 

**(15:15) IThoughtYouWereBae,TurnsOutYou’reJustFam** : Phi, no!

 

**(15:57) SecretHoe™** : Gets stabbed in the back, still quotes vines

 

**(15:58) SecretHoe™** : A true gay icon

  
  



	2. :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bunch of random snippets from different chats. 
> 
> Victor - Daddy™, Viktory, LiteralGod  
> Yuuri - Mama™, Thicc  
> Yuri - Son™, Tigerballerina, Oreo, fml  
> Phichit - Phishit, hamsterman, Buns™  
> Guang Hong - 2Gay4U, SecretHoe™  
> Leo - MERICA, RawrXD  
> Otabek - Otabeatyoass  
> Seung Gil - Birdman  
> JJ - KingJJ, TheKing™

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys,  
> I forgot to mention last time but they are meant to be exchange students at a British University BECAUSE I KNOW HOW THAT WORKS. Anyway, hope you enjoy!  
> ~Treetops

_ MERICA  _ has texted the chat  **Whores w/ Chores**

 

**(15:28) MERICA** : GUESS WHO GOT AN A

 

**(15:28) MERICA** : Everyone gets ice cream, on me

 

**(15:31) 2Gay4U** : Yes babe! I’m so proud!

 

**(15:31) 2Gay4U** : And I will gladly eat all the ice cream on you if ya know what I mean ;)

 

**(15:32) MERICA** : I think I do ;)

 

**(15:34) Viktory** : YES LEO

 

**(15:35) Viktory** : A TRUE HERO

 

**(15:36) Thicc** : :)

 

**(15:42) Phishit** : Yuuri, sweetie

 

**(15:42) Phishit** : You can’t have ice cream

 

**(15:43) Phishit** : You’re lactose intolerant 

 

**(15:45) Thicc** : :(

 

**(15:46) Viktory** : I’ve got his pills, he can eat as much ice cream as he wants!

 

**(15:47) Viktory** : I’ll also give him cuddles if his belly hurts!

 

**(15:47) Thicc** : :)

 

**(15:53) Tigerballerina** : Disgusting

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 _TheKing™_ texted the chat **So I’m sitting there, ice cream on my tiddies**

 

**(20:12) TheKing™** : Ah man, I love ice cream

 

**(20:17) Tigerballerina** : Shut the fuck up, JJ

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

_ Birdman  _ texted the chat  **I hate you all**

 

**(01:45) Birdman** : You see, I understand the need to take revenge, but “eating their veins like spaghetti” is taking it a step too far for me

 

**(01:45) Birdman** : Sorry, wrong chat

 

**(01:46) Oreo** : No, please elaborate.

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

_ Buns™  _ has texted the chat  **Chris, you need to stop**

 

**(23:57) Buns™** : What is love? (;_;)

 

**(23:58) Daddy™** : BABY DONT HURT ME

 

**(23:58) KingJJ** : DONT HURT ME

 

**(23:59) RawrXD** : NO MORE

 

**(00:01) Son™** : I hate you all

 

**(00:03) Buns™** : I came here for some love advice and I’m honestly feeling so attacked right now

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

_ Otabeatyoass  _ has texted the chat  **You have been stopped**

 

**(22:06) Otabeatyoass** : Yura?

 

**(22:07) hamsterman** : AWWWWWWWWW

 

**(22:07) Otabeatyoass** : shit

 

**(22:08) Thicc** : YES OTABEK YOU MAY MARRY MY SON!!!11

 

**(22:08) Tigerballerina** : ffs

 

**(22:09) LiteralGod** : YOU HAVE MY BLESSING

 

**(22:09) LiteralGod** : MAKA CAN BE THE RING BEARER

 

**(22:10) Tigerballerina** : fml

 

_ Tigerballerina  _ has changed their name to  _ fml _

 

**(22:38) Birdman** : @fml relatable

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

_ Mama™  _ texted the chat  **Hubby Help!**

 

**(10:23) Mama™** : You want some love advice?

 

**(10:23) Mama™** : EAT HIS DICK!!!!

 

**(10:32) SecretHoe™** : Excuse me bitch

 

**(10:33) SecretHoe™** : That was my suggestion?

 

**(10:34) SecertHoe™** : If the hamster goes down on the bird, you owe me £10

 

**(10:34) Mama™** : What, why?

 

**(10:35) SecretHoe™** : Copyright infringement

 

**(10:36) Buns™** : Are you saying you’ve copyrighted blowjobs?

 

**(10:36) SecretHoe™** : Yes

 

**(10:37) Buns™** : …

  
**(10:37) Buns™** : Then I owe you a lot of money...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya!  
> Did you enjoy? This thing is such shit I high key love it.  
> ~Treetops


	3. Daddy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eh you can probably figure out who’s who by their names...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!  
> Eh. I was ill last night and couldn’t go into work, but it gave me time to finish this so that was good!!  
> ~Treetops

**(18:51) GayHoe** : I’m so gay

 

**(20:36) Buns™** : Same

 

**(20:43) Done™** : Relatable

 

**(20:46) Son™** : I hate that i’m agreeing with you

 

**(20:46) Son™** : But it’s true

 

**(20:49) Mama™** : I hear ya

 

**(20:50) Buns™** : Bitch you ain't even gay

 

**(20:51) Mama™** :  ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 

**(20:53) GayHoe** : Are any of you going to ask me why?

 

**(20:53) Buns** **™** : Honey we know why

 

**(20:54) Mama™** : Because God blessed this earth with great ass

 

**(20:55) TheRealDaddy** : Amen

 

**(20:55) GayHoe** : Ah so true

 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

**(05:43) LiteralGod** : Okay but like

 

**(05:43) LiteralGod** : Have i ever mentioned how much I love Yuuri?

 

**(05:44) Kat - suc - me** : Viktor, why are you saying this at 5 in the morning?

 

**(05:44) LiteralGod** : BECAUSE YOU’RE JUST SO PERFECT 

 

**(05:45) Kat - suc - me** : Aww, Viktor!

 

**(05:45) Kat - suc - me** : I love you too!

 

**(09:06) hamsterman** : Well that was gay

 

**(09:08) NSFW** : Ten bucks says theyre fucking

 

**(09:10) hamsterman** : Chris!

 

**(09:10) hamsterman** : No one is gonna bet with you if they know theyre gonna lose!

 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

**(02:43) Yurio** : Damn I fucking love chocolate milk

 

**(03:12) PaPa™** : *gasp!*

 

**(03:12) PaPa™** : a rare moment of Yurio being soft

 

**(03:14) MaMa™** : MY BOI

 

**(03:14) MaMa™** : SO CUTE

 

**(03:15) MaMa™** : sleepy Yurio means cutie Oreo 

 

_ PaPa™  _ changed  _ Yurio _ ’s name to  _ Oreo _

 

**(03:17) PaPa™** : our little Oreo 

 

**(04:32) Otabear** : That is adorable

 

**(06:52) KingJJ** : BEK! THAT IS THE MOST ENTHUSIASTIC THING IVE EVER SEEN YOU SAY!! 

 

**(11:02) Oreo** : I hate you all

 

**(11:02) Oreo** : I cant believe I text in my sleep 

 

**(11:26) Otabear** : thats even cuter 

 

**(11:31) Oreo** : STFU BEKA!!!

 

**(11:34) MaMa™** : “Beka” *dies*

 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

**(18:24) Daddy™** : CHRIS DID YOU EAT MY WATERMELON THAT WAS IN THE FRIDGE?!

 

**(18:38) TheRealDaddy** : You just hate me because I’m beautiful 

 

**(18:42) Daddy™** : excuse me I am stunning

 

**(18:45) TheRealDaddy** : Oh of course, Viktor. Just not as stunning as I

 

**(18:46) Daddy™** : *gasp!*

 

**(18:46) Daddy™** : YUURI!

 

**(18:47) Daddy™** : CHRIS SAID I WAS UGLY

 

**(18:47) Kat - suc - me** : WHAT?!

 

**(18:47) Feelings?** : Rip in Peace Chris

 

**(18:48) Kat - suc - me** : I WILL HAVE UOU KNOW 

 

**(18:48) Yurio** : sweet Jesus 

  
**(18:50) Kat - suc -me** : MY VIKTOR HAS BUBBLE BUTT FOR DAYS! ALMOST AS HOT AS HIS ABS! ALSO...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!  
> What did you think? I hope you liked it! Comment please! I LOVE MAH COMMENTS!   
> ~Treetops

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys,  
> This was super short but I think all of the chapters are gonna be this length to bt honest. Anyway, hope you enjoy! There's plenty more to come.  
> ~Treetops


End file.
